Dear Junk Food,
It hurts me to say this, but it’s over. I’ve been wanting to this for years and have finally reached the breaking point. Please know that it’s not you- I know that you cannot help your scrumptious yummy goodness. But your tastiness has caused my body to betray me. My width has expanded and my clothes do not fit. You have exhausted me, leaving me poopie and lethargic day after day. I must leave you now and pursue these fruits and veggies I’ve heard so much about.
I will always remember the good times we’ve had. Cheese- greasy, ooey gooey precious cheese. I will miss you the most. The way you covered my pizza, the way you perfectly topped off crackers, they way you cover pasta bringing happiness to all that consume you. String, spray, blocked, sliced, powdered, baked, melted - you are still divine. Cheese- there is nothing you can’t make taste better- even broccoli.
And you, white bread; hot, fluffy, filling white bread. I love how you greet me at the start of every dinner experience- saying “yes, this is going to be a great dinner.” Your omen of delicious-ness will be missed.
Lemon bars, strawberry cupcakes, Twix bars, Mountain Dew, Doritos, blueberry muffins, cheesy garlic biscuits, bacon, and sweet sweet poptarts with melted butter on top, I say a heartfelt goodbye to you all.
I’m sure I’ll run into you at some point in my journey. Please understand when I look away. I love you junk food and will miss you dearly. But forever I must bid you adieu.